Ghosting is normal.
How to get the best positive experience out of it
Ghosting happens when someone disappears on the other someone without any rhyme or reason. Boom! You have just been ghosted!
Just like that…
Why does ghosting happen?
Because… you’re probably useless to them.
Because… you’re an asshole.
Because… you smell of poop and tarts.
Because…
Apparently, there are no answers to that — one day you guys can be the best of friends, blood brothers, bros before hoes and the next… total strangers.
It’s normal.
One day you guys are so deeply in love — till death do us apart and the next…
absolute nothingness.
It’s normal.
As you can see, human beings are unpredictable creatures and there is nothing you can do if someone has their mind made up.
It’s normal.
Here are some methods I have been practising to deal with them.
1. Thank you for loving me
Take this horrible experience of yours and turn it into a life-changing one instead. Meaning, you learn from it. Try to understand and find out more about yourself rather than why they do what they did. Fuck them, take care of yourself first. Can you learn anything more about yourself from this episode?
If it’s a No and you feel that you have done absolutely nothing wrong then move on. If it is a Yes, learn from it and better yourself.
For example:
I’ve been ghosted throughout my entire life due to my “mental” issues — I'm not crazy, I’m just a little unwell. I suffered from the “childhood, emo, lonely, depressed, moody, guy sitting in the corner of the room” stories and these are the reasons why people ghost on me, mostly. My inability to move on started to become a thorn in the lives of those who mattered to me — we are all sponges and we absorb one another’s “vibe and feel.” If one is down, all are down… Teamwork. What can I learn from it this? Before I lose any more close friends or people who care, I have to better myself and move on from my past. I have to better myself, for myself and myself’s self.
I know… real friends stick by you no matter what. Wrong!
real friends stick by you and do their best to help but if you are still full of shit, they will become exhausted and will bail on you — they have their own lives to live.
Find out what is wrong for yourself and not them.
You will never know what is going on in their minds but you can always better yourself. Stop wasting time on the wrong things.
2. The Defensive Mechanism
Always be prepared.
Always be very prepared.
In a good way.
Anyone can ghost you…
And I mean ANYONE… even your dog
What you want to do here is to expect the worse while having the adventure of a lifetime. Push and Pull, Ping and Pong, Yin and Yang. Be prepared.
Be yourself. Cherish the time spent and build relationships like every other day but this time around, push and pull instead. Give it your all and take care of yourself. This way, if you’re ghosted… you’re a cool ghosted dude… a cool ghost.
You see. Most of the time, being ghosted can be explosive because it comes in all forms, and they are very sudden which we are not prepared for because we relied on that eternal shoulder to cry on. With awareness, your recovery period will be super quick and you can move on with your life, and your conscience is clear. If you want to help a close friend, do it. But, push and pull. Be prepared to be ghosted or not feeling appreciated. It’s normal. I expect the worst outcome and I cherish, appreciate and love all my close friends at the same time.
3. The timeline, timeline
Give yourself a week prior to being ghosted. Stay positive and give yourself a week to wait for a reply or cry over spilt milk. Remember, just a week. Then, move on and do whatever it takes to help yourself — block or ban, etc.
Little grasshoppers…
It takes time and practice to overcome such heartbreaking extravaganzas.
But, it is all worth it at the end of the day.
Remember, while you are out there killing yourself softly with his/her song, the ghost might be having the time of his/her life. Always take this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and reactions. There is always a line of people waiting to enter your life and you will not welcome them in if you’re still sulky as shit.
Stop speculating and start acting. You can read all about “why ghosting happens” and relate to all the examples but you will never know what the real reasons are or what they were thinking about at that time. Stop pouring petty buckets of “noooo! I did so much for you” or the “don’t leeeeeeeeave me!” and start paying attention to yourself — it is never about them. Even if it is, be the gentleman/woman and bring this whole incident back home — take a bow.
